Porch pirates. The absolute worst. These lazy-ass thieves lurk around neighborhoods like raccoons with Wi-Fi, snatching up anything that looks remotely valuable off your porch. But every now and then, karma catches up — and when it does, it’s chef’s kiss beautiful.

One clever dude recently shared a masterpiece-level way to get rid of two headaches in one shot: his giant new TV box and his old junk TV. Instead of letting the massive cardboard monolith hog up his recycling bin for the next decade, he packed up the old TV inside the new box, sealed it up like a prize from Best Buy, and left it temptingly on his porch like bait on a hook.

That night? Bam. Security footage shows a porch pirate sneaking up, probably drooling over the idea of flipping a brand-new flatscreen on Craigslist. And just like that, the “problem” was gone — old TV, giant box, the whole mess, stolen with enthusiasm.

Cue maniacal laughter.

Top-tier internet reactions included:

“How to be a thief and an idiot at the same time.”

Straight-up poetry.

“I left a package with cat litter and shit inside it, my neighbor took it and then after opening it tossed it outside all pissed off and shit… Like she was offended.”

Honestly? That’s art. Messy, smelly, neighborhood-drama-starting art.

“Yup no transportation costs no waste costs. Did they bring it back?”

Zero waste hero. Porch pirate unknowingly doing community service.

“Eat shit, porch pirate.”

Short. Sweet. Savage.

“This is awesome 😂”

A wholesome take amidst the chaos.

“I once put an old huge CRT TV on the sidewalk with a ‘FREE’ label. It just sat there. I changed the label from free to ‘$50’ and within an hour, it was gone.”

Nothing attracts interest like a fake price tag. We’re a strange species.

The moral of the story?

If someone’s going to steal your stuff, at least make sure it’s the stuff you actually want gone. Turn the tables. Trick the tricksters. Leave them hauling off your garbage while you sip your coffee and cackle at the footage like a Saturday morning cartoon villain.

And hey, if you’re feeling bold… maybe toss in a glitter bomb next time. 🎁💥

Stay clever out there.